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Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate loving relationships.

But maybe it is also a good time for parents to check-in with their teenagers who may be involved in a romantic relationship.

If you are a parent of a teenager, do you know the names and faces of three of their friends?

Chances are, one of them—maybe your own son or daughter—will be in an abusive relationship.

While the Nation’s understanding of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking has increased, so too has our awareness that these forms of violence affect all age groups and that violence within relationships often begins during adolescence.

The signs weren't obvious, especially to a 14 year-old, but it began with him telling me he didn't like the shirts I wore, or that my skirt was too short; at the time, it was easy to mistake jealousy and control for adoration.

Somebody who could guide me back to myself, my voice, and my truth.

But I chose to keep my secret hidden, I chose to protect the people I loved, I chose to find my own way. I found my voice and rebuilt my foundation on self-acceptance and self-love.

One winter day during my junior year, I found out that he had cheated on me again. He became enraged as I walked away to my class but he didn't follow me. In that moment, I had two choices: I could either sit there and continue to be belittled in front of everyone because he wasn't going to leave, and nobody else was going to say or do anything, or I could walk out and be shamed anyway because I had given into his threats. As we walked down the hall, he spit in my face, pulled my necklace off my neck, threw it in the trashcan and he threw me up against the lockers. Mine is a story of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.

After class had begun, I heard the door swing open, which was at the front of the classroom. He stayed at the door and looked toward the teacher and said to him in front of the whole class, "I need to speak to that fucking whore right there." He pointed at me, then he turned to me and said, "Bitch, get your fucking stupid ass out here now." Everybody turned and looked at me in shock but nobody said a word. It didn't begin immediately, in fact, there weren't any signs until we had been dating for almost a year.

579 comments

  1. Feb 1, 2018. Almost 1 in 10 teens reports being physically abused by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the last year. Teens learn a lot from their parents — both from what they say, and what they do. One of the most important things you can do is keep the lines of communication open with your kids. Take steps to make a.

  2. Feb 10, 2016. One winter day during my junior year, I found out that he had cheated on me again. I broke up with him during lunchtime. He became enraged as I walked aw.

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