I want to show you some of the most elegant, beautiful, mesmerizing, and excruciatingly painful morsels that I've come across during my last five years as an online dating consultant. Some of the messages are so comically bad that they actually border upon, dare I say, poetic. It's difficult to properly draw conclusions from these experiences, though. Are men more willing/shameless about sending sexual messages?Like this one, which I'm lifting from a FOUR-STANZA love poem: For the sake of my work, I've had to try out literally hundreds of dating sites and apps. Other times, it makes me want to repeatedly bash my head against a wall. Maybe men are less at risk of having their sexuality exploited and therefore less aware of how threatening an overtly sexual/aggressive message can be perceived?Personally, I was a serial monogamist (always had a boyfriend); I didn’t want to be alone. Then I turned thirty and had my heart broken for the first time.I was blindsided, actually, and I was having a hard time catching my breath. Most of the time, it means I'm helping companies make their dating apps less shitty, or in the best-case scenario, I'm telling would-be founders to pick a different idea to work on. I also consult for individual daters who need help either getting into relationships, getting out of relationships, opening them up, and occasionally closing them again. In my tenure, I've received fewer than 10 overtly sexual messages from non-spambot women.
To Live and Date in New York 2002 Metro TV, New York, a.k.a.
Clients frequently tell me I give them a unique perspective — a combination of practical hindsight, intelligence, and academic knowledge.
It’s incredibly validating when they call to simply say, “You were right!
But for all practical purposes, a little authenticity and a sense of humor will go a long way.
Steve Dean is an online dating consultant, speaker, and digital matchmaker who writes about dating, relationships, and how to get connected to amazing jobs and careers.