The phone number came up blocked, so he knew it must be the doctor. And when he first came out to friends as transgender at 19, changing his name and beginning his long physical transformation, he didn't stop adding to the list of baby names in the back of his journal: Kaya, Eleanor, Huxley. But instead, he felt a chill of anxiety and anticipation.
He usually wears a Red Sox hat, and when he's nervous, he'll remove it and obsessively bend the rim. Evan, who was born female, had wanted to be a parent since he was very young, when he played with dolls just a bit longer than the other kids.
But what if you are born into a female body, know you are a man and still want to participate in the traditionally exclusive rite of womanhood? By then, my brother had already come out to himself and friends as trans, but he didn't tell me until 2003, when he started taking hormones.
Now that gay marriage is legal, the social battleground has shifted to new frontiers, frontiers that include the most private aspects of people's lives.
Transgender Americans have gained greater visibility and acceptance as stars like Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox have trained a pop-culture spotlight on trans issues.
And in an attempt to sound interested and supportive, I asked him invasive and personal questions, often in mixed company.
Once, during a brunch with our extended family, I asked him about whether he planned to alter his genitals.