I still don't understand how the heck one can have sex BEFORE "I love you" or "relationship". I'm glad my lady agreed to be exclusive with me right before we had sex.I basically demanded it because there was no way I was gonna sleep with her and not be exclusive.This current relationship is: Kiss 1st date, sex-exclusivity-BF/GF 2nd date, and I LOVE YOU 5th date.A lot faster than before, though we are more mature and older so I don't see a reason to wait unnecessarily.Exclusivity is still getting to know each other, without having sex with other people.I think the difference is announcing it to the world and introducing each other publicly as an item, as well as announcing to each other intention to commit to building a serious long term relationship with each other.
But in your 40s we know that real love, not infatuation, takes time to grow.But young people think physical attraction, lust, infatuation is love so they say it earlier maybe.Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.Everyone is different, and it's important that your potential partner is onboard with your timeline. In the past, as a man, my rule was: Kiss after 2-3 dates....exclusivity AND Boyfriend/Girlfriend after 2 months, Sex after we both acknowledge "I LOVE YOU"...so forth.Unless it's just with reference to sex, I don't see why anyone would want to be exclusive without being boyfriend/girlfriend.It seems like the a weird limbo situation to be in if you want a relationship -- you are exclusive so you can't date anyone else, but you are not in a relationship.When you are in your 40s, you don't wait 1year to have sex.You know you have a strong attraction, that you really really REAAAAALY like the other person and see yourself with them long term, think about them 24/7 maybe (I know I do), but not sure if that is really "LOVE".At what point would you start thinking about exclusivity?Is there a difference between being "exclusive" and labeling yourselves "boyfriend/girlfriend"? I think the difference is announcing it to the world and introducing each other publicly as an item, as well as announcing to each other intention to commit to building a serious long term relationship with each other.