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So you’re not into mail-order teddy bears or heart-shaped boxes of bonbons. There are plenty of reasons, human and otherwise, that Star Trek: The Next Generation wouldn’t be considered Valentine’s Day viewing.

Lwaxana’s version of hello is using her species’ advanced mind-reading abilities on Picard to expose his “naughty thoughts” in public.En route to the Pacifica conference as the representative for Betazed, she lures him into what is supposed to be an ambassadorial dinner for the crew (to which she only invites the mortified captain).When she starts making bedroom eyes—and suggestions—at dessert, Picard ups the awkwardness factor by inviting Data to interrupt their dinner date with sleep-inducing scientific anecdotes.The arguments between the future in-laws at the dinner table are also not to be missed.It doesn’t take long for Wesley Crusher to fall hard for the alien princess Salia after she is beamed onto the Enterprise—at least, she seems human(oid) enough.Could you possibly imagine Captain Picard waltzing over to Dr.Crusher’s quarters with a bottle of Magus III’s finest vintage and a bouquet of chameleon roses? Space fairytales aren’t about to happen when you’re beaming alien diplomats or racing across galaxies at warp nine.Even the homo sapiens on board (with the possible exception of Riker) aren’t exactly temptresses or Casanovas.Some need an operating manual just to get through a date, while others wouldn’t show affection if the Federation mandated it.Lieutenant Worf’s old half-Klingon, half-human flame, K’Ehleyr (pronounced Kay-lar) arrives to warn the crew about a potential threat.Never mind an impending battle; things on the personal front don’t exactly look too promising.


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