After yet another argument, I called my friend to uninvite her.”Not only was Jamie’s friend upset, her husband still wasn’t happy: “Instead, he complained about everything—down to the board games we played after dinner—and left in a huff, yelling at me for not noticing that he was so unhappy.” His haughty behavior and exaggerated sense of self-importance are classic signs of NPD, our experts say.When Jamie’s husband was diagnosed with narcissism, she felt awash with relief.“On one of our first dates, he compared himself to Alexander the Great and Napoleon, saying, ' I was born at the wrong time.Alexander the Great and Napoleon had conquered worlds by my age.'" Although remarks like this point to narcissism, they're easy to ignore when you're infatuated, or to even view as a funny display of a partner's confidence.What’s more, “nothing you did or said would ever be enough, and if you dared to take care of yourself before the [person with NPD], you would have the wrath of God heaped on you,” she says.That doesn’t mean every relationship with a person with NPD is doomed.“Someone with NPD will exhibit these traits on a continuous basis, across all situations, and not feel bad about it,” Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., a Los Angeles–based psychologist and author of , tells SELF.
Being focused on your immediate needs and wants is normal at this stage.
I was a horrible person and I wouldn't be able to find anyone else who would put up with me, he said."Linda, Jamie, and Hazel have all walked away from their narcissistic relationships. But shocking as these women’s tales may be, their experiences with mates diagnosed with NPD aren’t exactly unique.
And one online narcissist support group has more than 36,000 members trying to deal with or get over their narcissistic partner or ex-partner.)Raymond says anyone in a relationship with a narcissist would feel as if “you were not being treated like a human being, but rather a thing to be used as and when necessary.” You would feel alone and devalued.
Research published in 2013 in the may shine a light on why narcissism isn't always easy to spot at first.
The findings suggest there are two different dimensions of narcissism, and they can affect relationships differently over time.