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What age is appropriate for dating

If waiting to have sex is important to you, then you need to come out with that straight off the bat: “I’m really not ready right now, and I won’t be for awhile. Our society loves the concept of ‘soulmates’ but with love and determination, you would be able to make it work, long-term, with LOTS of people you will meet.

If you’re not okay with that, then I really think we shouldn’t date.” And if you’re too embarrassed to be talking about any of this with someone you’ve been dating, you are definitely too young to be having sex or dating anybody: mature people talk honestly about what they want, once they figure out what that is. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that, at fourteen, you’re missing an opportunity that will never come again.

"I think 11 -12 is still too young for that stuff...

I'd say maybe 9th grade might be okay, but am not really sure." How young is too young to allow your child to date?

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You say “the same mistakes keep happening, irrational, clingy, and losing myself in relationships.” To me, it sounds like you are too focused on having a relationship in your life and not focused on other things like career, friends, and hobbies.

Part of that is being super-frank and open even if that feels a little embarrassing.

If school is important to you, make sure you tell them and follow that up with a serious “I mean it — I can’t hang out with you the day before a big test.” Watch their reaction — if putting your own work before them, ever, gets them hot under the collar, that’s a good sign that they’re not good for you. Above all, don’t think that this is your last or most important chance for romance.

This isn’t to say that they for-sure would try and pressure you into anything you aren’t ready for, but it IS to say that it’s important to them that they feel in control in the relationship, and that is frankly a pretty bad sign.

In practical terms, if they can drive and you can’t, you may feel pressured to go places you don’t want to go, or be stranded if they get irritated with you.


  1. You should start dating when you want to be in a relationship and you're mature enough to deal with conflicting desires. A relationship only has to be based on what you both want, and that means agreeing on sex or the lack of it. Don't let anyone convince you it's wrong or sad to not be dating yet at any age. The only way it.

  2. Tell us what age you think is appropriate for your kids to start dating in the comments below. Shellie Braeuner, is an award-winning children's author and earned an from Vanderbilt in human developmental counseling and has worked as a nanny for more than 25 years. She is currently working on her MFA in writing at.

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