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I’ll also admit to re-initiating contact with an ex from my third year of law school—the former Army Ranger best remembered for his unusual enthusiasm for his Breville juicer, premature ejaculation issues and borderline antisocial personality disorder.

I spent my last five years in Chicago attempting to forge lasting (i.e.: ultimately marital) relationships with friends of friends, and I’m still totally alone.

The ad reiterated that the service is for “busy professionals.” Which means my excuse for resorting to such a service would presumably be my busy professional-ness—rather than the more obvious “I’m pathologically insecure! I scheduled the introductory meeting over the phone with a woman named Lizzie.

(Never mind the fact it is completely ridiculous for an adult to call herself Lizzie.) I put a depressingly large amount of effort into my appearance as I readied for the in-person meeting.

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Lizzie continued to lay it on thick about how she’d only match me up with guys whose interview answers mirrored mine, and the process will be refined over time by my preferences.The building directory ever-so-discreetly listed my destination as “IJL.” Walking into the “happy” yellow-walled lobby and blaring Frank Sinatra initially sickened me, but luckily Lizzie and her Limited Express sexy-executive pantsuit whisked me into her private office before I had time to fixate.Her walls were adorned with framed, triumphant-looking human interest articles from a variety of second-rate publications.And don’t get me started on meeting a potential husband in a bar.Bars in Chicago are populated by three types: (i) snotty, preppy North Shore guys that I would rather pick a fight with than attempt to flirt; (ii) guys from the Western suburbs who all work at the Board of Trade and are not interested in committed relationships; and (iii) college kids.It all starts with a phone call – a confidential conversation during which one of our dating specialists can answer your questions and give you more details about the It’s Just Lunch dating process. We’ll learn what you’re looking for in a potential partner, what’s worked for you in past relationships and – just as importantly – what hasn’t worked.We’ll ask about your relationship goals, personal interests, hobbies and more.The last of my still-single law school girlfriends showed up for dinner this past Friday with a 1.5-carat engagement ring.Meanwhile, I’m nursing a broken heart from my most recent attempt at a relationship.For starters, it wasn’t clear from Lizzie’s tone on the phone whether I was being invited to a sales pitch or an audition.As a lawyer, I’m conditioned to think in terms of tiers and rankings, and I was terrified of being banished to a lower, unspoken tier in the It’s Just Lunch dating pool if I showed up looking the least bit unpolished.

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